Remember when you were young and you thought love was this invincible, bulletproof force that was immune to outside influence, impervious to evil and capable of overcoming all obstacles? And, then you found out your girlfriend was sleeping with your best friend since a week after you met, and that bubble was ruptured, never to be restored again.
Sorry. Maybe we got a little personal on that one. Maybe, you’re one of the lucky few who remains a fool for love, and the wool has yet to wear away before your eyes.
We hate to single-handedly destroy your remaining naivete, but women do cheat. Thankfully, more often than not, these kind of things don’t often happen without some sort of warning. Or in some cases, many. Here are intimations of infidelity that should tentatively raise flags:
1. She pays more attention to her phone than you
If you inevitably spend every dinner glaring at her as she pivots between various social networks and replies to every text message that springs up, then she is up to something.
2. She’s less interested in sex
Every couple has sex routines. Maybe three times a week is your norm; maybe you get it in every night. But if your norm inexplicably changes, and you find you’re battling a new excuse every night, you may want to investigate what lies at the root of the issue.
3. Her social calendar is way to busy for you
Saturdays used to be your day. Nothing was said, no plans were made; it was just assumed that you’d be spending time together. But lately, it seems something more important to her comes up each week. Your weekly dates are no longer set in stone, and everything and everyone else takes precedent.
4. She is accumulating new clothes at higher rates than usual
If your girl goes into makeover mode and tears through the mall like Sonic the Hedgehog on a mission, you should take notice. Most women have an affinity for retail, but if her shopping takes on a rabid focus seemingly out of nowhere, you should ask yourself why she has become invested in reinventing herself.
5. She’s overly concerned with your whereabouts
Remember when you first met and every day was peppered with a constant exchange of flirty, borderline-salacious text messages? It’s normal for your text game to fall off from that initial honeymoon phase, but if she takes hours to respond without explanation, and can’t muster up an ounce of enthusiasm when she does, it’s not a good look for your relationship.
6. She isn’t making plans for the future
If you look in your iPhone’s calendar, are the upcoming months looking unusually devoid of commitments? None of her 200 cousins has a wedding planned, you’ve yet to confirm any plans for your accrued vacation days, and hell, you haven’t even heard about one of those double dates with her best friend she usually forces you to pencil in each month.
It’s possible she’s overwhelmed at work or otherwise preoccupied; it’s also possible she’s plotting an escape and is hesitant to extend any invitations knowing she’ll eventually have to rescind them. Or, even worse, she’s too invested in someone new to realize she’s been neglecting your shared social schedule.
7. She flirts with other people in front of you
This points to larger issues of being attention-starved, having an insatiable ego, and otherwise being insecure. But more notably, if she’s comfortable batting her eyes at other people in front of you, what is she doing when you’re not there?
8. She starts pointing fingers in your direction
If your previously secure girlfriend suddenly goes into paranoia mode, you should take notice. If she snaps at you over seemingly innocent actions (basically, anything on this list, but in small, completely commonplace increments), she might be trying to throw you off her scent.
9. She makes a point to say she’s unhappy
It’s easy to misinterpret any of the aforementioned signals as infidelity when in actuality, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation. But, if you start noticing that the signs are slowly piling up, and she’s recently admitted she’s no longer happy in the relationship, you might be on the verge of a full-fledged confession.
10. She goes missing for several hours or days
So, she disappeared for five hours for the third time in a week and blamed it on falling asleep, and you actually believed her? That’s cute. We guess what they say is true—love is actually blind.
We hate to be the ones to pry those stubborn eyelids open, but if your girl goes M.I.A. for days at a time, you need to stop making excuses and start getting answers.
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